Apocalypse “How To Drive A Truck”

Apocalypse and you need to learn quickly how to drive a truck?

 

Here i will teach you just the basics to get the truck rolling.  The first thing find a truck then open the door, never mind if the tires are flat it’s an Apocalypse. Now after you’re in the truck adjust the seat after all even in an apocalypse you should ride in comfort.   Then adjust the mirrors so you can see the horror behind you.  Now an 18 wheeler has air brakes that lock into place for parking there is two of them.  A red one and a yellow one both must be pressed in for the truck to roll forward or backwards depending on which way the horror is coming from!!   See the video here for details on this. Then after you clean out your underwear, and are ready to get the truck moving you will have to put it in gear (See Video). 18 Whellers in general, most have 10 gears 5 low and 5 more high. The first five are just like a standard car 1 through 5. But if that is not fast enough to escape the horror chasing your ass then you will need the next five gears.   On the gear shifter is a switch sometimes a button. That is your gear selector switch,  press that or push it up to reach the next level of gears (6 through 10)  Some trucks have more gears, and more selector switches but you get the point.

Shifting gears

Is diffrent in an 18 wheeler or however many tires you have left after the horror.  It’s very easy there is two ways of shifting gears in a big truck. The first way is how they teach you in trucker school Double Clutching. This is the best way if you’re new to being a trucker.  To double clutch just wait until the RPM is high enough around 13 for lower gears 18 for higher gears (each tractor is diffrent)  just hear the engine wine that will tell you it’s time to shift.  Now press the clutch in it’s the pedal on your far left then shift out into neutral, wait for the RPM to drop about three 13 to 10 then clutch in again, and into gear. That simple even a trained monkey can do it,  and most of us are not much smarter than a trained monkey. The second and way more advanced way of shifting is floating the gears. This is magic, luck, and timing.  Just rev up the rpm and then take it out of gear wait for the RPM drop then with magic just put it back in the proper gear.  Dont forget to say abracadabra when doing this or it won’t work!!  Now your rolling down the road, and probably shitting yourself if this is your first time driving a truck.

Trailer or Bobtail

If the truck has a trailer you will have to make sure the airlines are connected so the truck will roll.  Check right behind the cab between the truck and trailer (See Video) There you will find two airlines a red one and a blue one. The red one is your emergency airline the blue one is your service airline.  Make sure they are both connected,  and the green one is your pigtail for your lights.  If all 3 are connected then check under the trailer to make sure the 5th wheel is locked in place. Then check your landing gear is up. Now you’re all ready to roll down the road. This is just the quick basics to get the truck moving in case of emergency. If you have any questions at all feel free to ask im always available to help.  (There are no stupid questions only stupid trained monkeys).  Also you can find me on Facebook, and twitter. Now lets hope the apocalypse does not happen but if it does you can drive a truck down the road until the horror catches up, and gets you because you jumped in a swift truck that is governed at 63 mph when i got the ungoverned peterbuilt and beat you to safety.

http://gonzotrucker.com/how-to-be-a-truck-driver/

 

 

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